Saturday, January 17, 2009

I have nightmares about this

Seriously. A month ago I had a dream a similar snake was stalking my dog.

Friday, January 16, 2009

William Kristol is the worst person to ever exist Part Deux!

I have another edition of this because it makes the boyfriend happy. I hope I don't fuck up this one as much as I did the other.

  • William Kristol shot your dog
  • William Kristol brought smallpox to North America and syphilis to Europe
  • William Kristol stole your umbrella while it was raining
  • William Kristol read Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America and loved it
  • William Kristol is starring in Pink Panther 2
  • William Kristol invented pop-up ads
  • William Kristol set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning
  • William Kristol has his homepage set to the Drudge Report
  • William Kristol spammed your email with weight loss offers
  • William Kristol pre-empted your favorite show's broadcast
  • William Kristol gave you lice
  • William Kristol scored the game winning goal at the buzzer...against your team
  • William Kristol encouraged John Wilkes Booth to shoot Abraham Lincoln
  • William Kristol crashed your hardrive
  • William Kristol left his Christmas lights on all year
  • William Kristol is racist
  • William Kristol put the empty milk carton back in the fridge

I Am Extremely Annoyed With CNN

I have written before about how annoyed I am with CNN's iReport system, but this is another problem with CNN that I've had for a while.

Its the non-news stories that crop up. The shit that no one really cares about:

This human interest bullshit needs to stop. The story about the Mom keeping the pet's death a secret belongs on its own separate website for advice. I'm not the only one.

And for good measure, iReport still sucks. I understand that sometimes ordinary people make the news, but for the most part, I don't want to hear what they say.

Catch the Frak Up!

I cannot wait. Hopefully I'll be able to watch it online on Saturday night.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

So Roger Ebert Is My Faves...

I didn't know that this interview existed until I was looking for the Rod Blagojevich clip from the Daily Show. He's such a nice guy to the people he reviews badly, completely separating them from their (terrible) work. He's my faves

I used to watch movies and then immediately read the Ebert review. I don't watch as many movies, but I still trust his opinion more than others. For one thing, he's funny, and a second, he takes movie reviewing pretty seriously. There are some reviews that are so lovely that I've read them over and over and over again.

Now he doesn't just have his own movie review website but a blog! Where he responds to people who comment! What a great guy!

I've only met him twice (once I sold him a payday at the Overlooked Film Fest in 2005, and then a few days later had a conversation with him about Bollywood in a group) but he's still one of my fave people. I just wish he would write in his blog more!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Save The Sea Kittens!

Create Your Own Sea Kitten at!

Okay, so fish are slimy and totally gross. This is bad for PETA, who wants to save all the fish. If I were PETA, I would point out that you are eating something that is slimy and gross. Are you sure you want to eat that? It swam in pollution.

Instead, they propose a name change. No one would ever eat a kitten, so maybe no one would want to eat a sea kitten? Above is my sea kitten. I didn't have any cool names for mine, so I just named him "Sea Kitten". The only problem is that I thought that PETA was against pets.

This is one of the strangest marketing schemes ever.

Please Don't Eat the Sea Kittens

William Kristol is the worst person to ever exist

William Kristol is the worst human being to ever exist. An AIM conversation gleaned many of these facts, that I will now share with you. (For other information about William Kristol, see here...thanks Dan!)

* William Kristol stole your roommate's bike in college
* William Kristol litters
* William Kristol likes Nickelback
* William Kristol took your lunch money
* William Kristol think that the constitution is "a good starting point"
* William Kristol makes you puke
* William Kristol thinks postpartum depression is a myth and psychiatry is a Nazi science
* William Kristol thought Sarah Palin was a good idea
* William Kristol has a recurring role on Two and a Half Men
* William Kristol thought that New Coke was a good idea
* William Kristol causes Metro delays
* William Kristol is delaying the new Tally Hall album
* William Kristol just ran over you with his segue
* William Kristol eats veal every night for dinner with foie gras on the side
* William Kristol has a ring made of kryponite
* William Kristol believes the only stem cell research that should be allowed is the research he does in his basement on nights and weekends as a hobby
* William Kristol told you there is no Santa
* William Kristol got Arrested Development canceled
* William Kristol is cutting down the rainforest
* William Kristol saw Marley and Me four times
* William Kristol gave Roger Ebert throat cancer
* William Kristol is causing the economic crisis
* William Kristol stole your socks out of the dryer
* William Kristol took the last gallon of milk at the grocery store
* William Kristol just erected a parking garage outside your window
* William Kristol broke up with you on Valentine's Day
* William Kristol prevented you from getting into Harvard
* William Kristol sent your job overseas
* William Kristol caused your hard drive to crash
* William Kristol is hoarding all the coupons for digital converters
* William Kristol loves Fox News
* William Kristol ate the last cookie

Hey, Remember When I Decided To Stop Writing About Sarah Palin?

I was done with Sarah Palin. To be honest, things had gotten out of hand. Everything this woman did offended me. It consumed a lot of my of time and frustration. I lived in complete fear that this woman would become Vice President and then quite possibly President of the United States.

Mostly because she's not very smart. But on November 11th, I was done. No more writing about Sarah Palin. I broke my own rule a few days later because she let everyone know she drinks Diet Dr Pepper but that was just because I'm a huge Dr Pepper drinker.

And now she's back on my blog. Mostly because she's been mouthing off about the media. And because the above video summarizes the issue pretty well (Thanks to the daily show). Media Matters For America had the hugest cow yesterday over this. Mostly because she had blamed liberal bloggers and the mainstream media for pushing the "Trig is not her baby" story.

Blah blah blah blah. No one in the mainstream media wanted to touch that story. Its all very messy to accuse someone of faking a pregnancy. No one wants near that noise. Except maybe Andrew Sullivan who writes about it at least once a week. And everyone thinks he's crazy.

Hopefully now everyone thinks Sarah Palin is crazy. And now I'm done writing about her for the next three months (at least).

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Hey, Remember When This Video Was All The World Knew Of Rod Blagojevich?

"Is this guy teasing me or what?" It used to be that Rod Blagojevich was known for being the guy who wasn't in on The Daily Show joke. They were simpler times.

How To Say I Love You Short Film

My sister sent me this. It's kind of sweet.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I haven't heard anything about a new Tally Hall album instead I spend my time watching their online variety show. Above is a Convenience Store Musical. Their efforts would be far better placed in coming up with a new album for me to listen to. (Please)

I mean, Blur is getting back to tour! The least you guys could do is make an album. Or an EP! I'd be satisfied with an EP!

Google searches that lead to my blog are awesome!

I have to admit I'm a little fascinated with how people wind up at my blog. What kind of google searches lead here. Who links to me. Et cetera.

Apparently searching "bush sanitizes hands" in Google leads you here. Awesome. Everyone needs to know that Bush is a germophone!

Interestingly enough, the sites below mine ask the question, is Bush racist or just a germophobe? I'm thinking the latter. After all, the man loves Condi Rice.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Things you should not do at work: save files about Herpes

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there are certain things you shouldn't do at work. Especially on your work computer, where its possible that other people will see it.

First, it was the resume that went on for three pages. This was humorous to me. I thought about saying something to the person with a three page resume, but I ended up just letting it go. After all, its a tough world out there, and I'm trying to find a more stable job. It comforted me to know that there were people in the world with three page resumes in 10 point font.

But today, while clearing out any images that I used on the blog from the pictures file, I found document after document on the herpes virus. Plus a certificate of appointment to give a urine test with the person's name on it.

There isn't anything inherently wrong with having an STD. But there is something wrong with saving it on a shared work computer. I was just looking through documents to see what could be deleted. It didn't have a descriptive title, so I clicked it to see what it was. I didn't need to read information on how to tell a loved one you've infected them with an STD. Or see the picture file of a colleage's appointment for a urine test.

My Mom Called At One In The Morning To Tell Me About Barack Obama At Ben's Chili Bowl

No, I wasn't there. But its still pretty cool. According to Yahoo, he ordered a Chili Half Smoke (which I've eaten and enjoyed) and cheese fries. All the DC blogs (most recently We Love DC are hoping that the Obama's chill out more in the greater District area. This is a super good sign.

I'm resisting the urge to go there and order the same thing he did.