Friday, January 9, 2009

ABC not even bothering to air the last episodes of Pushing Daisies

"Oh, Hell NO!" Emerson Cod says it best at this news.

So ABC doesn't have current plans to even show the last few episodes of Pushing Daisies. For serious. Like, fans don't even matter.

I wrote about this earlier, suggesting that maybe producers and writers don't feel the need to tie things up for fans, because their fans weren't faithful enough. But in Ask Ausiello, its explained that they had reworked the final episodes to bring closure. But that closure is not to be aired.

So it is ABC that doesn't feel any obligations to the fans. Big surprise. The least they could do is offer it online, but I doubt that.

Too bad -- whimsy just doesn't belong on television.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Official Tourist Guide To The Inauguration

A snarky guide for tourists. Mostly I just hope they stay out of my way. Which they won't.

I'd like to add that I don't want to know where you're from or how great it is. Last week I had three people tell me how great Chicago is. I know Chicago is great. I've fucking been there. I know they have shops there. Yes, I've heard about Marshall Fields and Neiman Marcus. If you don't want to spend money in DC and instead want to spend time telling me about the Sears Tower then don't come here. I've been up in the tower.

I know New York City is great, too, okay? All these places are awesome. I'm busy trying to do my job.

Does This Mean Nothing From Think Tank Will Be Played?

I was rewatching the above video and noticing the accompanying music. Nothing from Think Tank, only 13 and before. Are we now pretending that Think Tank didn't happen? Really? Is this so Graham will be there? Why is no one even talking about this?

I know there's mixed feelings on Think Tank, but I really, really love it. Without it, there would be no Caravan, no Sweet Song, no Brother's & Sisters...No Out of Time! What?

I guess I'll deal with it. So far my dream playlist includes French Song, Essex Dogs (including Dancehall?), and The Universal. So far.

The New Killers Album Is Kinda Lame

Okay, so I'm late, but that's mostly because no one told me there was a new Killers album out. Now that's I've had a chance to listen to it...meh.

The lyrics have made me go Wha? in the manner of an Oasis song. I know that The Killers are smart people, so this can only be on purpose. Apparently the lyrics are so strange that people have been having trouble deciphering the single so this Youtube video explains exactly what the fuck is going on:

Christ, really? Someone took time to make a video explaining the lyrics? Can't we all just go to Songmeanings and be done with it?

Ugh. I could only make it through some of the video that patronizingly says exactly what is going on in the song. What's really sad about this whole debacle is I love their B-Side album. Oh well.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Social Fraud In The Digital World

Huffpo has an opinion piece on how being on Facebook can expose you as a social fraud.

After all, you friends finding out you skipped their get together to do laundry is a faux pas...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm Number Four!...when you search "Pinckneyville racist"

...Which is how someone arrived at my blog earlier today. That's me, uncovering racism everyday!

No, The FBI Doesn't Want You

I got on CNN to see this headline: Wanted: 850 new FBI agents.

They don't want just new agents but professional staff. That's something I can do! Can you imagine working at the FBI? It'd probably be just as boring as any other old job, but you could tell people that you work at the FBI. That would just be sweet.

Unfortunately, the page won't load so I can't submit my (futile) application. Maybe they saw all the stuff on my computer (or some other weird FBI voodoo shit where they read my mind) and decided I wouldn't be a good fit...

...Or every other person is totally trying to access that page right now!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Dear Retailers: We're Not Falling For It

Bleak Outlook this Valentines?

Dear Retailers:

Okay, so Christmas sucked for you. I get it. But the first week of January should be filled with deep discounts of Christmas shit that's left over, not new Valentines Day crap.

I know it sucks. People just aren't spending money. But that isn't going to change because you tried to start marketing Valentine's Day before New Year's Hangovers were gone.

It simply won't work. There isn't going to be a shortage of flowers, jewelry, cards, or chocolates this Valentine's Day to warrant buying early to avoid the rush. Are people really feeling that romantic in this economic climate?

What is your plan here? To hop from holiday to holiday, hoping something will stick?

Save your marketing for Easter; people buy way more crap for that than Valentine's Day.

The Consumer You Are Trying to Market To

The Homeless Do Not Give Out Handouts... what I learned from politely serving homeless people in the cafe in the bookstore. You can have a conversation, give them a refill, and get them some ice water.

But to be fair, the people who wear suits and order five dollar drinks don't tip much either. This means I can make a totaly of $4 over an eight hour shift. Not so awesome.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Cupcake Porn Attacks Me Out Work, At Home...

Okay. So I work about a block from Hello Cupcake in Dupont. People come in with their boxes all the time.

But even worse is the book. Hello Cupcake. It's so...cute. I mean, there are penguin cupcakes! Puppy Cupcakes! Panda Cupcakes!

Why do cupcakes have to be so fashionable? As I write this, I am wearing cupcake pajamas. No lies.

Searching "cupcake porn" in Google leads me to this site, complete with many, many pictures. They. Are. So. Beautiful.

Things I'm Over That Need To Stay Out Of The News

1. Rod Blagojevich

At first, I was amused. Second, I was pissed that Illinois voters were getting the blame. I defended Illinois voters in two posts.

But now I can't care. Ronald Burris blah blah blah.

2. Sarah Palin

I stopped writing about her because it was becoming an obsession. Why can't the media let her go?

3. Amy Winehouse

Why isn't there enough evidence to send her to rehab yet? Why is she still being followed by paparazzi?

4. The Dow/The Economy

I'm bored with this. Really. I know its bad. I know its bad every time I get less interest in my bank account. I know. I don't need to know how much the Dow rose or fell on whatever day, I don't need to know how many people Sprint or the Chicago Tribune laid off. The only thing I want to hear about is how much money I'm getting from the stimulus package. And no one has told me anything yet.

5. Ginkgo Trees

So I guess this has been a DC thing, but seriously. I started hearing about this in November: how these goddamn trees are the reason why downtown DC smells like dogshit. I have to think about how the berries being crushed underfoot are the reason why the place I live smells like a shithole. I'm over it.