Finally Re-read Fourth Comings

Okay, so I've bitched and bitched about this. Perfect Fifths is due out in April, and it's killing my soul. I loved Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings when I was in high school, so when Charmed Thirds came out, the story of Jessica Darling's college life, I was ready to devour it.

And it was kinda lame. As I wrote before, I didn't really remember Fourth Comings all that well. So I picked it up in the bookstore and read it during my breaks. While reading it, I did kind of remember parts of it. Mostly it seemed like a continuation of the third book; disjointed, labored, and not quite as funny as it could be. This is not a good sign for a series, when I can't tell the time line and can't remember a book as being distinctly separate.

The premise? She is about to break up with her boyfriend who mostly disappeared out of her life while she was in college. He knows that she's coming to break up with him, so he proposes instead. An all-or-nothing approach. As Jessica Darling says, "Ack."

Rather than having a discussion about this like adults, she runs away for a week, writing him letters about how she feels or explanations. Double Ack. The confessional style from the diary felt more natural. Writing to a ghostly "You" constantly to Marcus, the boyfriend/proposee, feels awkward.

The most terrible part of the book, I think, is when Manda wants to get back with her ex. The ex (who is also Jessica's ex) calls Jessica and leaves three voicemails backtracking on what he told Manda, saying that he panicked and didn't want her at all. That he was in a good place, and he probably should have slept with Jessica in high school.

That in itself isn't so bad. But Jessica plays all these voicemails for Manda.

At the end is a small section from Perfect Fifths. I believe this is an excerpt from the third-person prose portion of the book. It was all right. We all know that Jessica and Marcus are going to get a happy ending this time. Unless there are plans to write another book...

Joe Biden is an Aging Ken Doll

I think its the bright shiny teeth.

Meg Cabot writes the Pep Talk

This week Meg Cabot writes the NaNoWriMo pep talk just for me:

Sure, it seems innocent enough. But the problem with doing this is that of course the new story always seems better than that old busted up, out-of-control story you’ve been working on for so long. That new story has the aura of dewy freshness to it. It’s calling to you! It’s all, “Yoo-hoo…look at me! I don’t have any plot problems and my characters are way-intriguing and some of them wear leather jackets and oh, yeah, you know that weird transition thing you’ve got going on near chapter four that you can’t figure out? I don’t have that!”

I have been thinking of a different story. I opened a separate Google Doc, typed a few ideas down, and then left it. But I think about it way more than I think about the other story when I'm not writing. It is calling me.

However, we are 14 days in. I'm already a little behind. I'm going to stick this out for 30,000 more words and then work on something else.

Wally Lamb has a new book out

His last book came out in 1998. That is a helluva long time ago, buddy. You're lucky I still care enough to check your new book out and read it.

And so far its going well. He's writing about the Columbine shootings from the perspective of a (fictional) couple who works at the high school. I missed you, Wally Lamb. I know you are putting a lot of thought into your works, but really, can you quit that out and become more prolific?

An Open Letter To Prospective Employers

Dear Prospective Employer,

I want you to hire me. I work hard. I am nice. I have an excellent typing speed. It is hard to differentiate myself from the pack, but all I want is an entry level job. And I would be excellent at it.

I am a super skilled data entrist. This does not sound glamorous, but it brings with it the evidence of qualities you want in employees:

1. Ability to focus
2. Fast typing speed
3. Attention to detail

Let's face it: data entry is boring. But I'm fast at it, and I get through it quickly without breaking a sweat. I stay focused. Don't you want your new employees to stay focused, even when the job is boring?

I have also been in customer service and even the managerial side of customer service. This means, in a nutshell, I have learned to be diplomatic in very tough circumstances. There are times when you have to tell a customer that you are very sorry, there is nothing you can do. There are times when you have to tell an employee that you are very sorry, but they have to clock out before they make out with their boyfriend.

You can make me a secretary. You can make me do the bottom of the barrel work. I will make copies, clean bathrooms, and make coffee runs. I'll type things up, call people and yell at them, and pick up your dry cleaning.

I'll do anything. Just give me minimum health benefits and $25,000 a year. Please. Please. Please.

Hire me at your earliest convienence,

Still Looking For A Job

Sarah Palin drinks Diet Dr Pepper

Okay, I wrote just two days ago that I wasn't writing about her anymore.

But 3:38 into this video, she identifies herself as a diet Dr Pepper Drinker. Ugh. The only thing that makes this better is she was drinking diet, which is dead to me for tasting flat.

In other news about Sarah Palin, bitch won't stay out of the news. It's hard to keep a moratorium on the lady if she's constantly talking to Matt Lauer or Greta van Susteran.

Oh, Shep Smith -- Did you not get the morning memo?

"Oh, please...the mainstream media reflected what was happening in this nation. It did not drive it."

This is the argument for the media turning away from Vietnam. It was not the media who led the charge, but the media reflecting on the changing attitudes.

Nice to see Shep Smith reading up on media theory.

[Huffpo]

Bush reflects on his legacy, keeps grammar mistakes to a minimum

"I regret saying some things I shouldn't have said," Bush told CNN's Heidi Collins when asked to reflect on his regrets over his two terms as president. "Like 'dead or alive' and 'bring 'em on.' My wife reminded me that, hey, as president of the United States, be careful what you say."

He stands by this, however: "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning."

[CNN]

NaNoWriMo: Veterans Day Edition

My word count is going to take a beating this week as I work three days in a row, eleven hours each day. Yeah, you heard me. I worked 9-4:30 and then 5-9 today. Expect more of the same (i.e. half-assed blog entires, low word counts) until at least Friday, if not Sunday. I'm ahead at least through today, and tomorrow will be my first (probable) day of falling behind.

Oh well. For now, I am ahead.

An Open Letter to Sarah Palin

Dear Sarah Palin,

Well, you've had a good run. I've constantly made fun of you for the past two months. Its been great.

And for your information, I am not one of “those bloggers in their parents’ basement just talkin’ garbage.”

Just because you aren't sure how the internets work or how to protect yourself from hackers and gawkers.

I think I'm about done with you. So unless you do something else (I dunno, like release your medical records? and they prove you aren't Trig's mom?) I think I'm done. This is it. I'm saying goodbye to Caribou Barbie.

Love,

No Longer Obsessed with Hating Sarah Palin

Most interesting thing George W has done in the past few weeks, maybe months, and WE CAN'T WATCH?

We haven't heard a lot from our current president lately, so we he does something we actually care about (i.e. show Barack Obama the White House) we would like to watch.

Of course, W is probably telling him about all the shit we can't know about, specifically UFO's, where Osama bin Laden is, how many licks it takes to get to the center, and how the 33rd bathroom has a sticky handle.

(Or as Wonkette put it, "Terribly Awkward Obama-Bush meeting underway." Hell yes its going to be awkward, but that's why we all want to be there!)

President-Elect Obama is from the future, totally has your email address

Have you received an email from Barack Obama and his team? Well, he comes from the future to spread his message of hope and to kill Sarah Connor before something or other happens. Anyway, he knows things, man. Like, how to use email. How to collect over 10 million emails and then start a website. You know that regular politicians won't have that kind of capability until 2020!

I really want to make jam and call it "Hope" and then spread it on my toast.

NaNoWriMo Update: Day 10

I have passed 16,000 words, which means that I need only 600 more words today to be totally, all encompassingly on pace.

I have worked out several of the issues I was having by making author notes and encouragements at several of the line/chapter breaks. Reminders, really, of what I was going for and how I was either failing or making that happen.

I wrote about cupcakes, because that seems to be a major obsession in this blog lately. (Look for an upcoming post on Hello Cupcake!)

Moral of the story: Sundays are an excellent day to write.

Decemberists have new music!

Oh, nothing like new Decemberist music to make everyone happy. The last part sounds a tiny Hey Jude-ish. Or a little Oasis, "All Around The World" from the AT&T commercial.

Liberal Elite Tuna Fish

This tuna salad sandwich is the most elite tuna salad sandwich I have ever seen! GHERKINS? Are you serious? GREY POUPON? You will never win the presidency, Mr. "The palettes in this household are not sophisticated".

Oh, wait...

Mostly I feel sad about John McCain

Remember when John McCain was cool? He'd go on the Daily Show and say no way did he agree with Bush. He appealed to the young people and the media.

He should do the maverick thing and become cool again. We'd probably welcome him back.

EDIT: I also suggest reading this article.