Saturday, January 24, 2009

Someone needs a quick punch to the nose



Apparently this happened to a coworker of mine. She was scanning a guys purchases and making small talk.

"Oh, you're getting a Moleskine? Usually we run out of these pretty quickly. You're lucky to get one."

The guy replies, "Actually, its moleskeen. Don't worry; most people in America don't know that's the proper pronunciation."

Really? I'm never talking to customers again.

Okkervil River - Song of Our So-Called Friend



I keep meaning to send this to my sister, but she stalks me through this blog so this is just as good.

Friday, January 23, 2009

OMG Wii Fits!

I wish I didn't work so much on certain days so that I could play video games to my hearts content. This is especially true of my birthday present, the Wii Fit.



So after a day of not playing, I step onto the Wii Fit, prepared to work out. It weighs me and then questions why I have gained a pound since the last time I weighed in two days ago.

Ummm, Wii Fit, I don't know. Any number of reasons. Water weight. Oreos. Laziness. I didn't play the day before. Was sick at work with a fever. Its a pound. Any of these things could have contributed.

Otherwise, the Wii Fit and I got along swell. It told me that my actual age was 23, which I will be in about two weeks. We got to Hula Hoop together and beat Dan's score for the soccer ball heading. Awesome.

Google Searches continue to amaze me: Porn Nostalgia



Porn Nostalgia gets you to this blog through this entry about Cupcake Porn.

Nostalgia Porn. What will they think of next?

(note: I'm on the fifth page of this search...so there's a lot of nostalgia porn out there, and this person was willing to search through five google result pages to get what they wanted.)

Fox News Freaks the Fuck Out!



I only wish I had cable so I could buzz over there to see what they're talking about now.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A week ago...

...this happened while I was at the apartment building I work at.

A Girl Couldn't Hope For A Better References

A friend wrote:

what's up?

i gave you a hella good reference

i was like "i would hire her in a heartbeat. she's tireless, ethical, smart, and gives one mean blowjob"

Oh My God I'm Famous!



Yeah. I'm addicted to Animal Crossing.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Am Horribly Sexist (or something like that)



At work I read Chelsea Handler's memoir My Horizontal Life. I generally enjoyed it. She slept around, drank too much, dropped out of college and worked as a waitress (or whatever she could get). These were escapades of someone just out to have a good time. And reading the book was a good time. She is like your (alcoholic) friend who is always doing crazy shit and willing to talk about it in (sometimes gross) detail.

She uses guys (mostly only the ones she deems attractive, although that's a moving target with how much alcohol is involved) and I laughed. Because she's funny.

There's another book about (roughly) the same thing. Getting drunk, sleeping around, and not having a permanent job, written by a guy. Tucker Max.



Tucker Max is doing a book signing at the store I work at, so I thought, what the hell, might as well try it. After all, I had enjoyed reading My Horizontal life.

I didn't enjoy it. Maybe I only like hearing about guys being objectified. Maybe. But I didn't like it. It had many elements of things I enjoy. Competitive drinking. Eating too much. Being the center of attention. All the things Chelsea Handler had to offer.

Maybe I'm sexist?

I will defend myself with this, though: Chelsea Handler was never out-of-her-way mean to anyone for no apparent reason. Tucker Max would get drunk and insult everyone in a room, for being fat, ugly or drinking the wrong thing. He was asked to leave parties because he was so rude.

This is not the kind of person I want to spend a whole book with. If that makes me sexist...meh.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

This Dude Is Your President



This was for the election, but it still applies. Don't worry America, Barack has this.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Dick Cheney needs to lift with his knees!



The question that comes to mind after watching this is, "Um, don't they have people to do that for them? Why is Cheney lifting his own boxes?"

"Packing your patience" or, how to not go crazy with all the people jammed into one place

I am generally annoyed at tourists right now for interrupting my flow. Its hard not to be. But today, before leaving to commute to work, I remembered one crucial fact about all these tourists: they are here because they love Barack Obama. Just like me.

So I tried not to be huffy when they walked four wide on a sidewalk at a pace I'd personally call "slothlike". And I was super polite when I told a woman, "In DC, its stand right, walk left." I even apologized to someone because they were on the wrong platform to go downtown.

Or pissed that the people living near me are clearly having people over and they are partying.

We are all celebrating Barack Obama. In the days following the election, I would get teary-eyed for no particular reason except I was thinking, "I cannot believe that Barack Obama is our president-elect."

That's totally happening again. So I'm trying not to ruin that effect for anyone else. Its my new president resolution.

Big Love Season 3 Trailer



I have a day off on Wednesday and I'm totally watching what happens. I can't wait.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

More hopeful Blur setlists



Even though he says this song sounds naive (at the Meltdown Festival in 2000), I still like it. Will this be one of the older songs on their set lists?

Star Wars told by a non-fan


Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.