Saturday, October 11, 2008

Troopergate over already?

Sarah Palin abused her power! Oh my! But she was still totally allowed to fire that guy.

That was anticlimactic.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Someone has been chanting "Terrorist" at the Palin rally...

CNN reports that absentee ballots in Rensselaer County in New York State have a itsy bitsy teeny tiny oopsie on them. Anyone could have made this mistake! You know, the 'B' key and the 'S' key are soooooo close on the keyboard...they are only a third of the keyboard away from each other! Just an oopsie slip of the finger...Plus it made it through three rounds of proofreaders.
Looks like that terrorist connection McCain-Palin are trying to make is really getting through to some people.

What economic crisis?

"The key is not who they like," said a Fox News person in a room full of people who said Obama won the debate, "but who they're going to vote for."

Oh Fox News. Look on the bright side: if Barack Obama is elected, you will have a 24 hour news network on which to bitch and moan about it!

I'm an expert in city parks!

Non sequitur comic for today. Notice the street signs he is standing near. By this logic I have been an expert on hunting preserves, city parks, the National Guard, education, and last but certainly not last, bike shops.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Money Made Us Crazy

Money expert Suze Orman would not be surprised if the U.S. became a cash-based economy. CNN reports her visit to Oprah. (because really, who is more reassuring than Oprah?)

"We have built an entire economy on lies and deceit," she says. "It's like building a home or an entire building on a sinkhole. You have a foundation, supposedly. But a little crack, if something goes wrong -- a little earthquake, a tremor -- and it starts to open, everything starts to fall down and ... that is exactly what has happened in the United States of America."


Suze says she wouldn't be surprised if we switched to a cash economy -- which means buying only what you can afford now.

"Banks aren't going to want to give you money where they're afraid that you might not pay them back," Suze says. "I personally think that's a great thing."

Yeah, but what about me, the responsible debt holder? Why did all those crazy people, who she says are lying to themselves by living above their means, ruin it for all of us?

Personally, I doubt her assessment. Banks will get tighter with lending money, of course, because of the understandable fear, but they make too much money off the interest to let that happen. But it is fun to read about her telling people that they are "lying to themselves" about their monthly income.

Red Line riders are gross

Last night waiting for the red line to Glenmont, I sat down on a bench. Immediately, the man next to me immediately stands and walks away. He leans against a advertisement.

And vomits.

Gross. Gross. I do not want this man on my train. Gross. Gross.

This is not the New York Subway, you are in my space and you are puking on a platform. You are nasty.

Today, the woman who sat next to me on the red line toward Shady Grove filed her nails. This isn't as gross as the first, but still, lady, I do not want to breathe in your nail dust.

I had my iPod on loud enough to hear over all the sounds of the Metro, when I hear a loud, juicy fart from the filing nail lady.

I want a peaceful commute. I do not want stories from my commute. I do not want my commute to be memorable. I want to zone out listening to music. I do not want to think about your personal hygiene, dietary or alcohol habits.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

So when is this whole economy thing going to get better?

The economy needs to learn something; the American mind moves fast. It multi-tasks. It does not stop and smell the roses. We simply do not have time to be preoccupied with such silliness, like money, bad mortgages, and high CEO salaries.

We need to get back to unthinkingly ordering that double latte, the chinese food in, and the premium channels. Let us go back to living our financial lives unexamined.

That's when the economy works the best, no?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

All feminists hate hotties says a Palin supporter

John Quinn on his radio show The War Room has criticized Gloria Steinem for being anti-Palin. Feminists, apparently, hate good-looking women. He said on October 6th,
"Sorry, gals, Sarah Palin's most definitely a woman. I
suppose some of the hate boils down to the fact that
the governor is so easy on the eyes? Hmm? That's
right. See, Palin is good-looking and that drives most
of these feminists, who look a lot more like Ruth Bader
Ginsburg than Palin, nuts."
Really? That's strange. The thought of Sarah Palin is enough to make my blood boil, but I absolutely love Tina Fey. Fey is one of my faves! She looks just like Sarah Palin, to the point that when Palin was announced, everyone's mouth watered for the SNL take where they would surely get Fey to play Palin.
No conservative liked Hillary because she refused to stand down. Palin, on the other hand, has willingly shied away from the media and only recently has been making consistent appearances without McCain. She seems to exude a "protect me!" vibe, despite her brashness and so-called 'maverick' status. These conservative men are more than willing to protect this beautiful damsel in distress....did she just wink at me?

Back when the "Bridge to Nowhere" was a political Fun Fact!

Remember the days when mentioning the now infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" wasn't construed as an attack on Sarah Palin but instead a comment on Congress?

I got a flash of what that was like while catching up on season 3 of bones. During an episode called "Baby in the Bough" the two main characters, Dr. Brennan and Special Agent Seeley Booth are in West Virginia, a place that has been forgotten by the government after the bridge to their town from the highway collapsed.

Brennan remarks that there is no tax base there to get the money to fix the bridge to a local resident. Later, however, she has a change of heart, saying she'll get in touch with her friends in Congress. When Booth questions her, flinging her previous words at her, she says, "They found the money to build a Bridge to Nowhere in Alaska!"

Just as an aside, within Wikipedia's disambiguation, there are eleven different listings that could be termed a "Bridge to Nowhere." Check it out here.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I've palled with terrorists, too!

Every two years, Allen Hall at the University of Illinois - Urbana-Champaign invites Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn to speak following a showing of The Weather Underground, a documentary about their radical activist days. Every two years, the Daily Illini throws a hissy fit about Allen Hall "haboring terrorists." Allen Hall has a guest room where invited guests stay. The dorm sponsors these talks, and you can often see the invited guest in the dining hall. Another noted guest was Jim Loewen.

I saw them speak my freshman year of college. They did not advocate blowing up buildings. They did not advocate violence against the establishment. There are better ways, both Ayers and Dorhn said, to make your voice heard. Yet I've met them, and now I may never be able to run for public office because of my association. After all, for several days they slept not more than 100 yards from where I slept! The horror!

After all, Ayers is now a professor and expert on education theory. Dohrn is now the director of Northwestern's Children and Family Justice speaker as well as a law professor. If anything, its Dohrn who was more of a terrorist; Obama is only accused of chillin' with Ayers, her husband. Let's accuse Sarah Palin of palling around with people who want to secede from America next!

Oh My God! I was soooo bored during the budget meeting...

You know, when you're really bored during a budget meeting and you decide to map out your entire mayoral campaign on the back of something easily found by a senior editor of TNR. And then published all over the internet. Complete with your name, in bubble letters, with a checked box, as though you've already voted...for yourself!
My favourite bullet point? "Use existing facilities - there is no need for a multi million dollar facility for government."
Apparently there was a need for a multi-million dollar facility for sports. While she might be correct on her doodle page --their doodle status does not discount their credibility-- it is strange she would then have sunk her town into debt for another multi-million dollar facility.

Today's Nostalgia: Cupcakes

There is a phenomena that I was unaware of until subscribing to blogs about Washington, DC. This phenomena is cupcakes.

Cupcakes are delicious. There is no arguing that. They bring back warm memories of birthdays in school. But was is especially interesting about the cupcake from the bakery is that for one or two dollars more, you can make you own cupcakes and have 24 of them! With very little energy expended!

Numbers like that make you think you can open up your own cupcake shop.

However, there is a distinction between cupcakes and other baked goods that city people like:

  1. They are relatively cheap
  2. They are calorically cheap
Other pastries my cost you $4 and be 700 calories. This little guy will cost you $2 and 200-300 calories. This means that people are paying NOT to have the extra 23 cupcakes hanging around; with that many cupcakes chillin' around, you are bound to have four or five in the first hour after they are out of the oven. By comparison, the tiny baked good with its ready to-go package seems less taxing on your mindset.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Unqualified in the job search

I have vastly lowered my expectations in the job hunt to things like secretary or typist. After watching the Vice Presidential debates, I realize I have gone about this all wrong: I need to shoot higher than I ever could be qualified.

If anyone dares to challenge my qualifications, I will point to the fact that I have successfully kept a cat from dying FOR MORE THAN A YEAR NOW and then wink. Don'tcha know.