A snarky guide for tourists. Mostly I just hope they stay out of my way. Which they won't.
I'd like to add that I don't want to know where you're from or how great it is. Last week I had three people tell me how great Chicago is. I know Chicago is great. I've fucking been there. I know they have shops there. Yes, I've heard about Marshall Fields and Neiman Marcus. If you don't want to spend money in DC and instead want to spend time telling me about the Sears Tower then don't come here. I've been up in the tower.
I know New York City is great, too, okay? All these places are awesome. I'm busy trying to do my job.
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