Thursday, November 13, 2008

An Open Letter To Prospective Employers

Dear Prospective Employer,

I want you to hire me. I work hard. I am nice. I have an excellent typing speed. It is hard to differentiate myself from the pack, but all I want is an entry level job. And I would be excellent at it.

I am a super skilled data entrist. This does not sound glamorous, but it brings with it the evidence of qualities you want in employees:
  1. Ability to focus
  2. Fast typing speed
  3. Attention to detail

Let's face it: data entry is boring. But I'm fast at it, and I get through it quickly without breaking a sweat. I stay focused. Don't you want your new employees to stay focused, even when the job is boring?

I have also been in customer service and even the managerial side of customer service. This means, in a nutshell, I have learned to be diplomatic in very tough circumstances. There are times when you have to tell a customer that you are very sorry, there is nothing you can do. There are times when you have to tell an employee that you are very sorry, but they have to clock out before they make out with their boyfriend.

You can make me a secretary. You can make me do the bottom of the barrel work. I will make copies, clean bathrooms, and make coffee runs. I'll type things up, call people and yell at them, and pick up your dry cleaning.

I'll do anything. Just give me minimum health benefits and $25,000 a year. Please. Please. Please.

Hire me at your earliest convienence,

Still Looking For A Job

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