Friday, July 22, 2011

Being an Adult

Its the new thing to proclaim your childishness for all the internet to see. "I suck at being an adult! I'm a child in an adult body! I saw Toy Story Three!" The best of these is Hyperbole and a Half's "This is Why I'll Never Be An Adult"  The most recent of which that I've read is this one from Hello Giggles.

But even though I spend most of my time watching television, I'm unable to manage time effectively, I ate frozen cheesecake for dinner last night because it was so hot.... I have to admit that I've started that transition, the adult transition. I definitely am no longer in college.

I'm pretty sure that other people's badges of adulthood are different, but mine are:
  1. I'm a wizard at laundry. Seriously. I got bike grease out of my boyfriend's short, I got cat blood out of his shirt a few months ago. And I know that its not me performing the magic, its oxyclean, but not looking at a grease stain and saying, "Fuck it. I'm throwing you away rather than dealing with you," is a sort of triumph.
  2. I make food that isn't macaroni and cheese. 
  3. Related -- I eat a vegetable that isn't a potato once a day and drink tea without any sweetener.
  4. I've kept a cat alive for four years now. I remember when he was still a kitten, and I said to someone that I had a cat. Their reply, "In your college apartment??? Is it ALIVE?" Why, yes. I feed it and take it to the vet and everything.
  5. I have motherfucking goals. Seriously. Like, the 150 Book Challenge for the year. A new one I'm toying with is trying to get to 100,000 total tracks on my account by the end of the year. Doesn't matter that its an inconsequential goal. Still counts.
  6. I'm also keeping plants alive. Outside, or whatever, but in the current heat wave, that is a miracle and it shall be counted as no less.
I feel like its become the new cool thing, the "Oh, I'm not an adult because I wear flip flops in the snow." (True story: I do.) Just like being awkward became cool 5 years ago... which still boggles my mind. Do you know the feeling of being awkward? It is the exact opposite of coolness. I feel sick and want to sink into the pages of Harry Potter where time-turners exist so I can turn the clocks back, or at best, obliviate with a a flick of my wand so that NO ONE REMEMBERS THE WEIRD THING I SAID OR DID. The essence of not being cool.

So I'm owning to being an adult. There are worse things. 

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